Trouble With Bossing
Perhaps it is one of the perks that comes at this grade level, but certain seven- and eight-year-olds (at least the variety with whom I deal) sometimes have it in mind that it is their sacred obligation to inform others of what they are doing wrong. When the issue came to a head the other day, we hunkered in for a class meeting about how to stop micro-managing classmates. Some of the kids were able to brainstorm that there may at least be more polite ways of directing their peers. Others suggested that saying nothing would be better still. And yet, when the inevitable had to be pointed out, there were kids who were ready for the message.
For it was one thing to illustrate that there's an inherent "power-tripping" in the bossing, a desire to control another and so exert prideful force; but it was a totally new message to some that the direct opposite of bossing is actually serving.
For, when all is concluded, serving is the hallmark of love. Or rather, it is the tangible demonstration of a will that is set on benefiting another; the outward manifestation of a determined volition that no shame is too high a cost, no rupture from one's own plans too grievous a penalty, and no amount of distress too unreasonable an imposition, if there might be added to its intended beneficiary even the slightest degree of good.
It is the form of giving which is set on foot-washing and bowing down; not seeking control over another, but desiring fully to be a simple blessing, in being and in might. It is the status of readiness, willing at every opportunity to lunge at even the smallest avenue by which to demonstrate the good will meant toward its recipient. It is the epitome of selflessness, which gives heed only to the nature and neediness of the one who will enjoy its labors; it is the grace toward a fellow being which cares not for its own preferences, but counts it a glad victory to see that the other's needs are satisfied, until it is not a matter of doing good, but of being the good of the other. In every sense, it is the truest condition of yielding, so as to express with utmost clarity, precise in word and deed, the state of being for the other person.
If "bossing" demarcates the grossness of self-centered assertion, then serving is the purest, most concentrated substance there is by which one can profess, with a humility of heart more disarming than coercion, that no hindrance could grieve love into forfeiture, no hardship could garner from it failure, and no heartache could galvanize its flight.
"For love is as strong as death... Many waters cannot quench love, nor will rivers overflow it..." (Song 8:6-7)
For it was one thing to illustrate that there's an inherent "power-tripping" in the bossing, a desire to control another and so exert prideful force; but it was a totally new message to some that the direct opposite of bossing is actually serving.
For, when all is concluded, serving is the hallmark of love. Or rather, it is the tangible demonstration of a will that is set on benefiting another; the outward manifestation of a determined volition that no shame is too high a cost, no rupture from one's own plans too grievous a penalty, and no amount of distress too unreasonable an imposition, if there might be added to its intended beneficiary even the slightest degree of good.
It is the form of giving which is set on foot-washing and bowing down; not seeking control over another, but desiring fully to be a simple blessing, in being and in might. It is the status of readiness, willing at every opportunity to lunge at even the smallest avenue by which to demonstrate the good will meant toward its recipient. It is the epitome of selflessness, which gives heed only to the nature and neediness of the one who will enjoy its labors; it is the grace toward a fellow being which cares not for its own preferences, but counts it a glad victory to see that the other's needs are satisfied, until it is not a matter of doing good, but of being the good of the other. In every sense, it is the truest condition of yielding, so as to express with utmost clarity, precise in word and deed, the state of being for the other person.
If "bossing" demarcates the grossness of self-centered assertion, then serving is the purest, most concentrated substance there is by which one can profess, with a humility of heart more disarming than coercion, that no hindrance could grieve love into forfeiture, no hardship could garner from it failure, and no heartache could galvanize its flight.
"For love is as strong as death... Many waters cannot quench love, nor will rivers overflow it..." (Song 8:6-7)
posted by Purple at 8:27 PM
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