Executive Decision
When I was signing my contract today, I should have read more carefully. I read to see that the step and column on the chart matched up with what the contract itself said, but I should have heeded the uneasy feeling about the figure on the line.
As my principal was photocopying the signed contract, he asked if I had any questions, and I asked how the step was figured. When we realized the discrepancy, he and the administrative assistant refigured the math, and looked over the previous years’ contracts to find any conflicts. Both times the number came out to be less than the salary typed into this year’s contract.
And then my principal looked at the paperwork and stated decisively that he was making an “executive decision” to leave this upcoming year’s contract as is.
At first, I was very grateful, and humbled by the generosity which was willing to overlook my failure to catch the mistake. But then guilt was quick to creep in, with its many cries that I’m not worth that much, not even worth what I would normally be paid. And, in that self-hatred, where guilt started to speak most loudly, and confusion muddled more than I could expect, I penned a note to him, explaining that I simply couldn’t accept the gesture, and that I would be by in the morning to re-sign a revised contract.
I still have that letter though… because God teaches lessons in strange ways. It was as I was propounding in prayer how I would clear my conscience that I suddenly got hit with a new definition of grace. My declaration was simple: “I can’t take something I haven’t earned, no matter how benevolent my boss. I’m the one who failed to check -- ”
And God echoed back at me with the sound of my own faithless cry which fights, “I can’t accept grace, no matter how compassionate my God. I’m the one who sinned -- ”
Despite all of my wriggling, I cannot evade the reality that the one in need of pardon is the irrelevant factor. That what we have earned and how we have erred are never weighed into the equation. For our justification is not held within our character, or contained by our deeds, but lies only in the One to whom alone belongs the "executive decision" to extend mercy.
As Exodus 33:19 boldly states, much to the jarring of our sensibilities, and fully in line with His authority, God bestows favor at His will. “And He said, ‘I Myself will make all My goodness pass before you, and will proclaim the name of the LORD before you; and I will be gracious to whom I will be gracious, and will show compassion on whom I will show compassion.’”
As my principal was photocopying the signed contract, he asked if I had any questions, and I asked how the step was figured. When we realized the discrepancy, he and the administrative assistant refigured the math, and looked over the previous years’ contracts to find any conflicts. Both times the number came out to be less than the salary typed into this year’s contract.
And then my principal looked at the paperwork and stated decisively that he was making an “executive decision” to leave this upcoming year’s contract as is.
At first, I was very grateful, and humbled by the generosity which was willing to overlook my failure to catch the mistake. But then guilt was quick to creep in, with its many cries that I’m not worth that much, not even worth what I would normally be paid. And, in that self-hatred, where guilt started to speak most loudly, and confusion muddled more than I could expect, I penned a note to him, explaining that I simply couldn’t accept the gesture, and that I would be by in the morning to re-sign a revised contract.
I still have that letter though… because God teaches lessons in strange ways. It was as I was propounding in prayer how I would clear my conscience that I suddenly got hit with a new definition of grace. My declaration was simple: “I can’t take something I haven’t earned, no matter how benevolent my boss. I’m the one who failed to check -- ”
And God echoed back at me with the sound of my own faithless cry which fights, “I can’t accept grace, no matter how compassionate my God. I’m the one who sinned -- ”
Despite all of my wriggling, I cannot evade the reality that the one in need of pardon is the irrelevant factor. That what we have earned and how we have erred are never weighed into the equation. For our justification is not held within our character, or contained by our deeds, but lies only in the One to whom alone belongs the "executive decision" to extend mercy.
As Exodus 33:19 boldly states, much to the jarring of our sensibilities, and fully in line with His authority, God bestows favor at His will. “And He said, ‘I Myself will make all My goodness pass before you, and will proclaim the name of the LORD before you; and I will be gracious to whom I will be gracious, and will show compassion on whom I will show compassion.’”
posted by Purple at 10:13 PM
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